Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
