So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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