You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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