i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just forgot I was standing up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
