You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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