I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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