He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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