dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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