I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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