i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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