i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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