also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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