Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
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You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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