just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize