I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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