doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
