yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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