im about as happy as oj after his trial
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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