I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
