my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
