Apparently you make a good broom.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
