yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Are we still banned from the library?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
