you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.