I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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