i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize