well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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