it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
