Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
