She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
