i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
