she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
