I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
