You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
