Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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