i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
