how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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