Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I deserve this hangover.
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