wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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