why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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