now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am naked and annoyed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
