the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
