i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
