i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
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i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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