god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
