so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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