I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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