Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
