okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
