Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
