Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
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All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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