So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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