Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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