i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just gift wrapped bread.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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