don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
