He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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