i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
