direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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