what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
