your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
and she was petting her beer can
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
