Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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