Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
