His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
